Bursting Techniques

Devil's Advice:

In recent years it has become common knowledge that there is an obesity problem in our great country. We are cited as being one of the fattest nations on the globe. I personally do not see this issue as being an obesity problem, but rather a problem with the population of skinny people being jealous of the indulgences the fat allow themselves to experience. I propose we change the appearance of beauty being encased in a small, tight, and healthy frame to one that appreciates the elegance of two or three chins, a fine glimmer of sweat, and the wheezing of breath as it tries to inflate lungs compressed by lard.

Mocking:

The nightly news is becoming the best source for the latest celebrity gossip. I once would have depended on tabloids or channels designated for this type of information to get my daily fill of Hollywood buzz, but I am now assured that the world news will include topics of importance such as the battle for the presidency, updates on the declining economy, but most importantly when Britney Spears will be able to see her children again.