Bursting Techniques

Devil's Advice:

In recent years it has become common knowledge that there is an obesity problem in our great country. We are cited as being one of the fattest nations on the globe. I personally do not see this issue as being an obesity problem, but rather a problem with the population of skinny people being jealous of the indulgences the fat allow themselves to experience. I propose we change the appearance of beauty being encased in a small, tight, and healthy frame to one that appreciates the elegance of two or three chins, a fine glimmer of sweat, and the wheezing of breath as it tries to inflate lungs compressed by lard.

Mocking:

The nightly news is becoming the best source for the latest celebrity gossip. I once would have depended on tabloids or channels designated for this type of information to get my daily fill of Hollywood buzz, but I am now assured that the world news will include topics of importance such as the battle for the presidency, updates on the declining economy, but most importantly when Britney Spears will be able to see her children again.

Encircling Continued

Thesaurascoping

Peace and quiet are two words often used together to evoke feelings of calm and serenity. I find that is not the case for myself. When a room is quiet I find nearly impossible to concentrate on anything but my quest to fill my ears with some type of noise. I am unable to focus on anything but annoying sounds like the sink dripping or clock ticking. I am at peace when there is some form of noise in the room. Common creators of white noise for myself are the television or a box fan. I am truly able feel at ease when my ears are not left searching for sounds.

Stress Testing

I find that visiting my grandmother is a mix between a treat and torture. Although her cooking is out of this world, her comments made throughout the day concerning the goings on in my life can leave an impression lasting longer than that slice of apple pie. Our perspectives on the role of women in the household are night and day. When she was a young wife her life was spent catering to her husband through cooking elaborate country meals that she would deliver to the barn herself. The very thought of this turns my stomach. I have two dishes, spaghetti and tacos, that I cook rarely and typically with assistance from my husband. I lead a busy life with work, school, a child, and another on the way that leaves no time for the clanging of pots and pans.

Encircling Techniques

Cliche Busting

Upon perusing a lovely box of chocolates I received as a Valentine's Day gift, it came to my attention that embedded in the top lid was a guide to my wares. Each chocolate was labled clearly on this thin sheet of heart-shaped paper, enabling me to avoid those I dislike and quickly find the candies I adore. I immediatley thought of Forrest Gump saying, "Life is like a box of chocolates: you never know what you're going to get." In this case, and I believe in life also, I was able to choose my path based on the information presented to me. Life has an element of predictability as much as it does surprise.

Stress Testing

Lying in bed one morning in my seventh month of pregnancy, my husband's hand resting peacefully on my enormous belly, he experienced an intense moment of shock when the baby began moving around quite violently. His hand flying from the location of the kicking and the startled cry of near disgust brought to my attention the different ways in which we were going through this transformation of our lives. What had become natural for me, was quite alien to him. Upon the baby's arrival this fact remained true: it was as if I was the born leader of this operation as he struggled to learn the ropes.

Timewarping Continued

Splitting the Second:

My feet pound the pavement one after the other in a battle to make it to the top of the hill. My chest is tight and every breath comes in shorter than the last. Arms are pumping with the energy they have left, but the intense burning in my right shoulder is a distraction to their performance. The music blasting directly into my ears lends motivation to the final portion of my two mile run. It is the fact that my husband could be watching out the window that I find myself sprinting this last leg up a fairly steep hill.

Problem Making:

Once again I am in a race against the clock as I hurriedly put on my shoes while still moving about the room in an attempt to locate my keys. I check the same places I check everyday as if I would actually put them somewhere that I could find them. They are not on the hook designed to keep their location stable, they aren't on the counter, in my giant purse, or on any hard surface as far as I can see. I express outloud my every occurring thought, most of which are littered with the language one would hear talking to a sailor. I fumble with the lock on the door, checking the last possible place my keys could be and the jingle as I swing it open indicates to me that they are in the lock where I obviously left them coming home last night. Instant relief floods my mind as I think to myself, "I knew I put them somewhere".

Time Warping

Anecdoting:

There is a certain prestige granted to those brave women who become wives of military men. I was unaware of this fact when I walked down the aisle toward a groom dressed in his Navy whites. It was not until I actually moved to Virginia where my husband was stationed that it became apparent to me that I was now one of a special breed of women. The reality of the matter really sank in when I was given a bumper sticker that read "Navy Wife", indicating to me that my status as a "Navy Wife" elevated me above the average civilian wife.

Pulsing the Tense:

My heart is racing and my breaths are coming in quick spurts. I can feel myself lose control of my thoughts as they inevitably race toward the dark side of my mind. Nightmarish daydreams flash like strobe lights in the front of my eyes. Visions where evil strangers knock at my door and I, a young mother hundreds of miles away from home with a husband out at sea, am forced to face attackers in an effort to save the life of myself and my child. Panic attacks hounded me when my husband was away.

Splitting the Second:

Standing in the airport, tears streaming down both of our faces, our lips met in a frantic, salty moment in a kiss that could be our last. Panic ebbing on the surface of our minds, we reassured each other that nine months was not forever both knowing that the world we live in is unpredictable and his job more dangerous than most. The baby toddled over, reaching his short, chunky arms towards mine, and we embraced as a family one more time before he had to board the plane.

Problem Making:

Flow, Pause, and Fusion

Base Sentence: Jillian kicked the ball.

Freighting: Jillian, Allison, and the other little ones kicked and threw the blue, misshapen ball.

Telescoping: Jillian kicked the ball, its shape deformed and color faded from overexposure to the elements.

Very Short Sentences: Jillian, Allison, and the other little ones kicked the blue, misshapen ball. It was great!

Melted-together Words: Jillian, Allison, and the other little ones kicked the seen-better-days blue ball.

Hieroglyphics: Jillian, Allison, and the other little ones kicked and threw the blue, misshapen ball; Gregory played alone.